I lost the most influential and important person in my life. I was less than 3 years old when I first met my sister. I was obsessed and spent all my time around her. Eventually though as you’d expect we became rivals. We competed for the final say, and even bowled against one another. This intensified to yelling and name calling and fighting, as you probably also would expect. But as we grew even older we began to respect each other in a way you can only feel when you realize they are your other half.We sought each others advice constantly and even plotted against our parents “schemes.” Both of our lives were etched and fueled by one another. Despite the fact I was supposed to be the “Big Brother” she always lead me.I know I was a large influence in emotional and spiritual guidance as I was always the one to go against the current but she was the one that excelled with it. She would sing and hum tunes everyday, then express herself in the most upbeat and enthusiastic way (this sometimes meant screaming that she was going to be late and can’t find what she was looking for.) While I was the quiet and calmly-collected one that always reminded her that it’s okay to be late once in awhile. Of course sometimes that’d make her madder but she always knew what I meant. It was a balancing act as I often lead myself too far astray, were I would not be concerned with my own future but just whatever ethics I could provide. But she was always looking out for me and motivating me to take on new hobbies and ideas.She’s the one that I look to for an opinion above all others. Whenever I had to get a new haircut or needed a new wardrobe she was the only one I trusted with the final say. I asked her opinion on almost everything that crossed my mind as if it was the only way to know for sure.
Last year I spent most of my income on gardening. While she thought I must going a little crazy she saw deeply into what my intentions were really liked the idea. Then that summer she even became vegetarian despite the fact our house served mostly things with meat. This year however I spent the majority of my earnings on hiking gear. At some point it sparked something in her to want to do what I was dreaming of but in a way that worked with her busy schedule. She kept nagging me about doing a crazy trip all over the place before summer ended. While I was nearly broke after having bought all that gear I promised I’d go if she planned it out. After a few weeks she had it all planned out and even booked all the sites. Then we went on the best trip I have ever been on. Were so taken a way that we wanted make it a yearly thing to go somewhere amazing for a week. That was about 2 months ago, and no more than a month ago I helped her and Hannah set up their dorm room at UCONN. She wanted to be a physical therapist but was going to start as safety and occupational health specialist.We grew even closer in the past few months than we had a good while and I am so grateful of that that words can’t not express how feel right now. I have no idea what this means for my future as she was always part of my main focus towards life. I didn’t care what I meant to the rest of the world, all that mattered was that I could share it with her. She was my twin in spirit. Together we fought to promote peace with everyone in our family and to bring them together and drop whatever dumb thing that seemed to cause tension between them. We fought to diffuse any and all arguments. We often complained how the value of the dollar is irrelevant to the value of life and our experiences. This didn’t always go over so well, as the world seemingly “runs” on money, and with our parent’s hardship over concrete cracks and bills that never seemed to go away. This was extremely hard on my dad as he would often mention that we needed to work harder, and he was right in every aspect. But we couldn’t help ourselves as living the moment was our priority as we are young and adventurous. Though right now we face the most difficult decisions we have ever faced in our entire lives. My parents can’t think about money it’s by far the last thing on any of our minds right now and yet they have to try and make up the cost for all this. I honestly don’t care about the cost I’ll work to pay for it if I have to but all this expense is up front. I know already my parents don’t have this kind of money on hand to do it the way we want. I simply cannot fathom giving my sister, Alana anything but the best burial and ceremony that we can manage to pull off so that her memory can forever be remembered and accessible. She was too damn young for this to happen. She was my only Sister and My Father and Mother’s only daughter.
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