Dealing
with the loss of a loved one is a painful process. There is no quick fix but
the pain will eventually subside. After you have said your goodbyes, and close
family and friends have all but gone home, it is then that you find yourself
truly alone. Time will heal the wounds and the sadness but for the meantime it
may seem hopeless with endless sorrow. Keep in mind that more than anything
your loved one wants you to feel good about yourself and move on. Your grieving
will help you to push forward with your life.
I have lost
several very close people in the course of my life. As a teenager I lost my
father and I must admit that 35 years later I still feel sadness and even some
regret for the words I did not say to him before he left. Don't allow yourself
regret. It is not necessary. I know in my heart that there was nothing I failed
to say that he did not already know.
I felt the
gamut of emotions through the year that followed. Feelings of anger, sadness,
regret, guilt and finally acceptance of my father's death all passed through
me. I did accept and finally realize that his death was not my fault. Next was
for me to move on and live a fulfilling life which is what he truly wanted.
Time is your biggest ally. Give yourself time to grieve and time to accept.
Years
later, as an adult, I lost my then partner after only a 1 year relationship.
The loss was sudden and unexpected. I suffered insurmountable depression and
had difficulty pulling myself out of that deep hole I had tumbled into.
Once again,
time was my ally. If you can garner patience from your friends, family and
employer, allowing you the time you need to work through your grief, you will
more than survive. You will thrive.
We are here
to share the company of those we love and when they move on we need to cherish
their memory and celebrate their lives. Life does not end when we leave the
physical realm. We are merely moving on to the next endeavor.
Thanks for sharing thoughts with all of us. Loss of our loved one is one of the saddest thing in our life, but we should keep our loved one alive by sharing memories and doing her/his favorite things.
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